April 11
From my brain
Contents |
2010
Me 23:52, 11 April 2010 (EDT)
Yesterday, we had the lack of mental capacity to invite seven other third graders to spend the evening in our home. Six of them also spent the night here sleeping over. TheBoy got about three hours of sleep......as did Wifey.
There's a bit more to this story, but suffice it to say, we're all very, very tired in this house, and tonight I sleep. Tomorrow, I sleep. At some point this week I really need to finish the project for our Purchasing class that's due on Friday.
Oy...next week Sunday though, almost a dozen kindergarten friends of Princess invade. Thank God no one is sleeping over!
2009
Me 18:43, 11 April 2009 (EDT)
Yesterday was TheBoy's birthday. Started off well enough with me waking early and Wifey and I singing "Happy Birthday" as we walked down stairs. He ordered up a mom-special batch of pancakes and syrup, and enjoyed the morning as Wifey and Princess left us to our lonesome to go to the chiropractor.
Wifey goes to my chiropractor's office, but to the other guy int he practice. I recommended him over my doc as my doc's hands are really strong and I know my hands are too strong on her sometimes...he'd probably kill her. :) The other guy's hands are just aren't as hardcore.
Anyway, after her adjustment, she called my doc over and told him of the medium version of my story. (The long version is for friends and family, the short version is for people like waitresses who wonder why I can't reach way across the table.) He said, "I really think this is muscular and possibly something in a spinal alignment. Come in for an adjustment." She explained the fact that sometimes, you can barely touch me, and he says he has ways of doing things so they won't hurt. He'll figure it out.
When Wifey mentioned the impending neurologist exam on Monday afternoon, he said to by all means go to it. He doubts the neurologist is going to say it's his "thing", but go there and find out. If it isn't him, then come in for an adjustment, and he'll do what he can. He also said if my doctor won't fill out the FMLA paperwork, he will. He's a licensed physical therapist I know for one, but apparently he's able to legally fill out the paperwork.
Sad that after 9 doctors, my "last ditch effort" is a chiropractor, huh?
The afternoon was to be TheBoy, Princess, and Wifey going to the pool at the hotel Mom & Stepdad are staying at (while their apartment is being renovated). So, while Wifey was gone, I was too take my shower. The climb up the stairs wore me out a bit, so I sat on the bed...and lost myself in the TV for awhile (darn History Channel!). After Wifey came home, I took my shower, and then sat down to cut my gross toenails. I was beginning to look like a woodland creature with claws it'd been so long.
Realize for a moment the contortions one goes into to cut one's toenails. My stomach hurt like hell by time I was done. I damn near fell asleep on the bed afterward. Was just spent. Finally get myself dressed and moving -- a full half-hour after Wifey wanted to leave, and we're out the door, amid me eating lunch in the car. (Also, not a good combination considering the mid-construction of our street.)
I was in no mood / condition to go swimming, so I'd opted to go to MIL and FIL's while everyone swam. I figured I'd work a bit on MIL's PC, and just do some reading on-line. Instead, after the exhaustion of cutting my damn toenails not to mention the ride in the car...I was spent. I ended up taking an 2 hour nap instead. MIL didn't even realize I was there until five minutes before I woke up.
We're off to dinner at Red Robin (yes, we just went there, but TheBoy loves it), and dinner was good. Well, it was good when I complained that my burger was room temperature and they remade it, but otherwise, it was good. TheBoy got Red Robin's version of "Happy Birthday" sung to him (which embarrassed him to no end), and we went back to MIL and FIL's for Dairy Queen birthday cake.
At this point, I was going critical. Now, everyone was trying to arrange everything around me. My head was swimming, my belly was aching, and I couldn't even put to words who I should ride along with to do what. They had to pick up the cake, MIL was still finishing dinner, and everyone else was ready to go. I ended up going straight back with FIL, TheBoy went with Wifey and MIL, and Princess went with Mom and Stepdad (and they somehow got home after everyone else).
He opened his presents and was really happy with what he got (I think...as much as any parent can tell). The ice cream cake too was awesomesauce, and we had a few laughs over it all. After seeing what I was like after dinner, Wifey suggests I sleep over at MIL and FIL's for the night, rather than take the ride home. She says that I probably slept so well because that bed is better than ours. While I agree...it's not the same as sleeping the full night at home. On top of that, "...there are nine other people waiting on me when I get home." Yeah, that didn't go over well.
So, soon, it's getting to be time to go. It's quarter till 9, and while I knew one other member was potentially going to be late, I didn't want to be too late for the Friday night raid group. Still, TheBoy > WoW, and that was it. So, chop chop, kids, get ready, right? Wrong.
TheBoy begins to throw a fit because it's now 9:03, and it's time to go. Beyond time. He was supposed to try on his new clothes, and Wifey was about to give in to him, and I said no. Both his teachers and his counselor said when it's time to do something, he does it, and that's it. If he doesn't after the time we ask...game over.
My son is not a delicate precious snowflake...and thank God his teachers don't think that either!
So began a night of hell. Screaming on the way out. Screaming because we stopped, said to wave good bye, he wanted to still go in and change, everyone else waves, and we drive off. Then...he wanted to wave. He didn't get the chance to wave! On and on like this all the way home.
We get home, and it seemed he was going to be OK. He was going upstairs, my raid was staring, and all seemed well. Then, he came down to talk to me and try to feel better about all that happened. He said it really upset him -- finally with a clear rational mind he speaks! -- and he just didn't want the celebration to end. He wanted more of a birthday. Apparently both sets of grandparents, his parents, out to dinner, free sundae, ice cream cake and candles, and presents wasn't enough. Didn't say he wanted a friend or two over...but that might have been what he was getting at.
Anyway, by the time my raid was half-way through, he woke up a couple more times (according to Wifey when I crawled into bed at 1am). He was still crying sporadically. Still wouldn't say exactly why though.
Bouncing back, I severely screwed up: I never took my meds at 11:30 like I should have. When did I remember this? 12:30. Someone knifed me in the side. Worst part? Middle of a boss fight. At the same time, a guildie was whispering me about bringing an alt in on a borrowed account while his account is disabled. At the end of the fight, one of the tanks says, "I had the poison debuff on me for 30 seconds by the end!" The other healer says, "What happened?" First flash in my head was, "Hey, we lived. No biggie." Second thought was, "You should NOT have tried to pull this off."
Thought right now: This just took you 6 hours to right. Hit save page already.
2008
Me 08:35, 11 April 2008 (EDT)
Yesterday was a haze for me. I remember large snippets of it, but other times I just coasted in a blur. I kinda knew it was gonna start that way as when Wifey joined me in the shower, I did nothing to grab her in the least. If sex is the furthest from my mind, you know I'm distracted.
The chronicles of yesterday morning and afternoon are already done, but the evening didn't go much better.
I had thought the arrangement was that I was leaving work around 3:30, heading home, and from there, wait for Wifey and TheBoy to get back from picking out his birthday cake. I had time to decompress from the arraignment, change my clothes, and get hungry for dinner. Granted, I was hungry already when I left work, so I was already ahead of the game.
I lay down on the bed for a bit and watched a little TV. I think I paid a little attention to the show, but my mind wandered quite a bit. I started to get tired, but as I contemplated putting my head down for a nap, I looked at a clock and realized it was 4:50. Crap! She's late, and if she's late, I gotta get ready.
At the same time as all this, I started to get agitated. Like nervous shakes and stuff. Someone coulda jumped out at me and I would have screamed bloody murder. I caught my hands shaking as I tried to put on my boots, and my heart was racing like I had been trying to run from a rabid badger.
Adding to this, it was now 5:05. We were all supposed to be at the restaurant at 5pm. Two things raced through my mind: 1) something bad happened (sucks working in worst-case scenarios in my head) and 2) she forgot to pick me up altogether. At 5:30, I left a VM for my mother, "Why do you people own cell phones when you turn them off all the time?", and then again saying that I was leaving because it was 5:15.
I was mad as hell. All I wanted at that point was a drink -- especially to calm my nerves which had gone ballistic. I realized then that the nerves were a symptom of everything crashing down from the day. The rock I had been while dealing with it all had crumbled to pebbles and I just wasn't right in the head. I honestly should not have been driving, but worse, now I wouldn't get a drink either.
When I got to the restaurant, I was enraged. Everyone there at the table -- Mom, Stepdad, MIL and FIL, and of course Wifey -- know about the stripe. My head probably shone like a lighthouse.
I rounded on Wifey but she stood her ground. She thought I said I would be home at 3:30, not be leaving work at 3:30. They waited until 4pm(ish) and then left. I got home at a little after four, so we probably only missed each other by minutes. (To prove this fact, TheBoy's godparents had sent him a stuffed bear with balloons. Wifey saw the flower delivery van just as she pulled out of our development and onto the main drag. As I pulled into the development, the van was just leaving the development. Maybe a 5 minute difference there.)
It took me almost 20 minutes to come off full boil. Ate a couple onion rings from the onion tower my mom ordered, and ate a very tasty clam chowder. Wifey calmed down too as she'd gotten confrontational too with the situation (which under other temperaments I typically find extremely hot when she gets angry), and began to apologize. All I said was, "I know, it was a misunderstanding, but all I wanted tonight was a drink. I really, really needed a drink."
The rest of the meal went well. TheBoy loved his presents, we all had a good meal. We laughed, we talked, and toward the end, Princess showed how much she's Daddy's little girl as she climbed up into my lap, threw her arms around me and just said, "Daddy!"
That hug was the best thing that happened to me all day long.
Me 13:09, 11 April 2008 (EDT)
We just got a letter! We're officially in the Foreclosure Club of America!
E-mailed RealtorLady on advice.
Me 14:20, 11 April 2008 (EDT)
And since all my other friends are doing it, here's my musings on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs theory.
Physiological
- Breathing
- Yes, the last time I checked which is a second ago. Realistically, the air isn't that bad in Columbus, but I hear it's growing worse.
- Food
- Not the most nutritious today. In general though, I eat moderately healthy, and if there's anything about me, there's always food somewhere.
- Water
- Three quarts a day (granted, via iced tea, but whatever) The water quality in the area is generally OK.
- Sex
- Do what I can to make sure I get it with my partner as often as possible...and it's usually fairly possible
- Sleep
- Probably a bit deficient here. Usually don't get much more than 5-6 hours a night
- Homeostasis
- My body and mind generally adapts well to any environmental change I suppose.
- Excretion
- Someone was too chicken to do this one, but I'm a guy, and a good poop is just a requirement in life. So far, I'm ok with it at home, but at work, my desk is ENTIRELY too far away from the restrooms now. Add to the fact I drink 3 quarts of tea a day (see "Water" above), and I'm often making a very long walk multiple times a day.
Safety
- Security of Body
- So far, so good. I'm a big guy, so usually that fools people into thinking I can take care of myself. Our old neighborhood is safe (albeit a bunch of punks in the area), and the new apartment complex doesn't look too bad.
- Security of Employment
- My job is secure for the most part, but I still hate it.
- Security of Resources
- Gas is killing everyone, but otherwise we're not struggling to find anything else.
- Security of Morality
- I guess so. Right vs. wrong usually because right wins...right?
- Security of the Family
- My family -- my wife, my children -- are there for me when I need them. MIL and FIL are. As much as I love my mother, that isn't always the case. As for my father, rarely is it the case. The further you go out into the tree (especially on my mother's side), less and less so.
- Security of Health
- My health? Bwahahahahahahahaha. I'm usually waiting for something else to break. It's like an old car that you're just waiting for a part to fail. In the words of Indiana Jones, "It ain't the years sweetheart, it's the mileage."
- Security of Property
- Property? I'm losing my house. We're keeping our stuff, but as for property, it lasts as long as we pay rent.
Love & Belonging
- Friendship
- I have great friends...but 90% of them are online these days. I've always kept a very tight circle of friends around me, but I think there's something odd when all of your regular friends are more often referred to by their online names rather than their given names.
- Family
- My wife and children love me, as do my parents, but I'm still that 15 year old who's parents who don't understand them. Actually, my parents probably did understand me when I was 15 (and I felt they did), but now, I'm this weird white sheep of the family when everyone else is gray.
- Romantic
- I am at my heart a romantic. More so than I can typically contain. I usually contain most of the things that I have because I either can't afford them or fear that they're "too much". Damn conditioning from rejection as a teenager...
- Sexual Intimacy
- Hmmm...I'm hung like a gnat in January, yet according to the fertility doctor we left "samples" with prior to chemo, I'm about as fertile as Ghengis Khan (just with this whole thing about "monogamy" that plagues me).
Esteem
- Self-Esteem
- I'm much cooler online than I am IRL. I feel I'm overpaid and under-skilled. I'm overweight (slightly, but working on it), and I've rarely counted myself as "attractive". Devilish smirk, yes, but not necessarily handsome.
- Confidence
- Ditto here. Brash and impulsive online with friends, but not so much careerwise. I take a little bit of that back when it's directly about my abilities as they are now but to go beyond them, I'm uncertain as to what I can actually do out there.
- Achievement
- Beyond my beautiful family, I've achieved little in life. Never finished the book. Never done anything supremely substantial and lasting here at the office. And I'm losing the first house we every had.
- Respect of Others
- I offer people more respect than they deserve most of the time. They seriously have to violate it in some major way in order for me to retract my respect.
- Respect by Others
- Cue up the Much Cooler Online bit. I have more respect in the guild than I could ever dream of in life. In the real world, I'm respected by my closest peers, depended on by some members of immediate management, and disregarded by the rest of the corporation.
Self-Actualization
I'm not even close. I don't know what I'm about these days and still feel like a monkey at the grinder. Moving my family out of "our first house" and into an apartment feels like a horrible reset. We're together, so that's something great, but beyond that, I don't have much to speak of toward any goals I had when I was at any younger stage in life.
Me 14:25, 11 April 2008 (EDT)
Toss another shrimp on the barbie: Realtor called. They wanna show the house tomorrow at 11am. You know, when I told people to start coming to help us move?
- Tonight
- Go to apartment complex office to sign lease.
- Pick up pizzas and take home
- Throw seventh birthday sleepover party for TheBoy and five of his friends
- Star Wars is showing at 8pm...rawk for not having to rent a movie!
- Tomorrow
- Feed the minions
- Ship off said minions
- Clean up after said minions
- Get out of dodge between 11am and noon for the house showing
- Come back after noon and start moving
- Collapse from exhaustion?
- Sunday
- Complete unknown up through...
- Stay away from the house between 2:45 and 3:45 for another showing
- Don't know if I'm going to church or not
- Monday & Tuesday
- Myriad shuttle trips between the apartment and the house to get the last of the items out
- This is stepped up now that the notification of our membership in the Foreclosure Club of America came in.
I really, really need to drink more.
Me 23:50, 11 April 2008 (EDT)
- Lease signed? CHECK
- Pizza purchased and eaten? CHECK (mmm...tasty)
- Party a success? By the sound of the three seven year olds still upstairs giggling through the baby monitor...I'd say yes. CHECK :)
This all aside, I also found out something else brilliant...
They fired Zejan near the close of business today. Apparently, another of the laptops he had was from a friend of ours who quit the company and forgot he had the company laptop. No one asked him for it when he quit, so Zejan took it from the friend and said he'd take it in. The company decided now -- around six months after our friend has left the company -- to report it stolen.
BLAMO theft of company property = instant termination. So much for waiting on the trial. Thanks for the damage control.
I hate that place so much.
Well, I need to finish some stuff in WoW. Then disconnect this computer for the move tomorrow.
Last blog entry until we're settled.
2007
Me 15:36, 11 April 2007 (EDT)
Today I have been able to sleep in an hour and half later, been drugged, have had someone drill into my head, and then slept most of the afternoon away on the couch. I know feel fairly hung over, but at least I get to look forward to the dentist taking out the temporary filling and replacing it with meh bling-bling in a couple weeks.
In other news, as of today, my company is going through yet-another re-organization. Supposedly rumor has it my old team and I will be back together again...under my current boss. That will indeed be choice. What will not will be the chaos to ensue through around the building as people adjust.
...we'll see.
