April 14
From my brain
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2009
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Me 01:15, 14 April 2009 (EDT)
...and thanks Marwyn. Damn near wanted to cry over a concise, nail-on-the-head article about what the hell is going on with me.
Now, to take it to the next doctor's visit.
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2004
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Me 02:33, 14, April 2004 (EDT)
An Easter Note from my friend Shawn from H.S. This was too funny not to share...
- Hey Man, I was writing, ok ranting, to a friend and thought you might enjoy my insights into the Easter Bunny.
- The Easter egg hunt was a huge success. Isabel had a blast and Jackson slept right through it. We also wound up at the mall this weekend and suddenly found ourselves in the carefull situation of Isabel spotting the Easter Bunny and wanting to go see him. Well, I can't endorse the kind of money they charge, nor can I simply distract her from meeting the giant bunny that hides candy in basket in our living room once a year. Like I said, a sticky situation. So, I resolved to "speak" with "Mr. Bunny" and try to arrange a quick meeting, free of charge. First off, you cannot simply approach "Mr. Bunny." You must deal with his handlers first. These minimum wage earning, stuck in the middle of shitty situation, don't really like kids anymore people, are a little difficult to deal with.
- Let me side track here for a moment. At what point did the Easter Bunny turn from a free mall attraction put on by the mall itself to attract families to shop there, to a For Profit professional photo shoot? Really? What the fuck? I've got a 2.5 year old, who just wants to meet the bunny behind the legend.
- Back to my point. It seems I have apparently come at a bad time for the Bunny's handlers, as they close at 8pm. They repeated this fact to every parent within ear shot. I looked at my watch and noted that it was 20 minutes to 8pm with only one set of kids in line and another on the lap. As I bargained with the handlers, I was surprised that I won my case and was allowed behind the "velvet ropes" actually it was a tensa-barrier distributed by Tamis Corporation, by that's neither here nor there.
- So as I waited.. and waited.. I now realize why they try to close 20 minutes early. Because the disaster that is sticking your kids on this fucked up bunny's lap is a mess. The fucking tricks involved in getting those kids to smile is outrageous. Forced smiles, laughing, party favors, teddy bears dangling about like a fucked up Willy Wonka flashback. Who cares about the smiles, just sit on the fucking bunny's lap say Hello, give him a hug and move on. It's no longer about the kids experience, it's about the parents keepsake photo collection. And what a great photo it will be. Faces still red from the screaming and crying just 30 seconds before they resolved to just shove the "binky" (pacifier) into the little ones mouth and snap the picture anyway. That's why Denise and I both agree, and have not changed our view, that Parents are the single worst classification of individuals in society today.
- In conclusion, Isabel and I waited for 30 minutes (that's 8:10 if you're following closely) through the tantrums and screaming to go up to "E. B." and introduce ourselves to the bunny we've all heard so much about. Mr. Bunny was more than accomodating as I explained that we were not interested in the photo process for the starting costs of 15 American Dollares. We were simply interested in meeting him and appreciated him taking a few extra minutes to meet a child that actually wanted to see him. Isabel gave him a big hug and took a moment to sit on his lap and try to pull his mask off. We then thanked Mr. Bunny and wished him a Happy Easter, because after all who cares about the bunny's feelings?
- Belly and I then topped it off with a quick hand washing (you don't know where that bunny's been) and a trip to the potty. Which leads me to another story for another day. Taking your very young daughter into a public men's room. After all, I can't take her into the ladies room. We then encountered the creepiest of all mall janitors who wanted to strike up a conversation. Like I said, another day.
- Hoppy Easter!
- -- Shawn
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Me 02:39, 14, April 2004 (EDT)
Attention fellow EI denizens...
Okay, reading the myriad posts in "naked yuna" driven thread was fun and all, but nuff's enough.
There's a couple (or perhaps just one according to the IP logs that Zej has) of kiddies who are being complete fucking morons. The thread was funny seeing idiots looking for naked pics of cartoon characters, but now, it seems like there's this one guy who's using it to talk to himself under different anonymous signons.
Which brings me to my point: Change your settings to not allow comments by non-members. These (this?) retards will soon fade into memory (hopefully) and go bother some other blogspace.
/soapbox
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