April 17
From my brain
Contents |
2009
Me 01:13, 17 April 2009 (EDT)
I'm tired of this mix of exhausted and knowing that I'm irritatingly in pain to the point I know I won't be able to sleep.
Yeah, I know Argert. "Don't think about the pain." /sigh.
Me 11:53, 17 April 2009 (EDT)
Yeah, I got sleep, but enough about me.
More layoffs at ThePit. Viper is the last one that I just heard who was terminated. I don't even know what to say. Still a little numb this morning in general, but Ceraun's feelings are starting to become my own. I didn't share enough of the Project from Hell with him -- with anyone really -- until the start of this forced me to. Ceraun got dragged into this, but it was Viper who was doing the other side of the project, and really should have been the one I cross-trained on it. Instead now, as Ceraun said...it made him look not as useful to the higher ups.
I know I shouldn't view it that way. I'm sure every part of the company was told, "OK, look at your people, you need to eliminate X% from your staff," but still, we're a team. We've always been a team. It sounds trite, but we viewed ourselves almost like a band of brothers. We have worked so hard together (despite our differences), and overcome so much over the years that it seems impossible to lose any member of our group. We've been juggled about throughout the company -- location to location, department to department, and manager to manager -- worked with the crap-ass basic tools at our disposal (still nothing but Access 97) to pull off miracles, and just constantly kept our nose to the grind stone and "taken it".
Viper was the rock of our team. He was the only one willing -- literally from day one with the company -- to come in before the break of dawn to start the ball rolling. Started every last one of the crazy morning reports that people have to have in their inbox when they get in. He juggled 6-8 PCs every morning, knowing which one was running which report, and keeping track of which had to go out by when. He might not have been the greatest pure-programmer, but for the straight-up projects he'd crank them out in a heartbeat. On top of all that, his personality is the one who can charm the most irate user into laughing calm in almost instantly, and that kind of thing you shouldn't just dismiss.
Phantom and Ceraun are stunned on Facebook / IM at the moment. I am too. Sure, I took my Percocet, but the numbness is much, much deeper. As soon as I can get Viper's email addy, I'm going to put him in touch with AdeccoGirl. I'm pretty confident she'll find something for him.
Me 12:41, 17 April 2009 (EDT)
As of approximately noon today...I am no longer employed by ThePit. That's right folks...no reason to wait on that FMLA paperwork. Good by Charlie!
I'm communicating on so many fronts with so many different people...I can't focus to write here right now.
Me 14:42, 17 April 2009 (EDT)
A 15 minute bout of un-manly crying combined with abdominal pain hurts like hell once the adrenaline from said un-manly crying drops out on you.
I had just taken a Percocet at 11:15 or so, and with the call at noon, followed by the un-manly crying, the pain hit swift and severe around 1:15. I was glad to have taken a second one at 12:45. I'm stoned as all hell right now...but maybe that's for the best.
Me 14:50, 17 April 2009 (EDT)
The biggest worry for right now is health insurance. Not sure if I'm covered through the severance period, or if ends right away. Package from HR won't be coming until Monday.
Me 23:24, 17 April 2009 (EDT)
Ceraun just left. Dropped off my plant from the office, a disk from Phantom with some *ahem* software, and gave me a bunch of movies and TV shows to watch. Hopefully I've reassured him this isn't his fault...even if it does completely suck.
Still though, it's time to put focus back on the reality of this weekend. It's Holy Friday. Tomorrow there are morning services tomorrow where we have three Chrismations and two baptisms. I'm going to duck out on those in order to make the midnight services for Pascha. That, and I have to bake the breads for both our basket and MIL's.
I want to thank though all of you friends who have offered your thoughts and prayers through email and Facebook. For now though...no more talk of the job thing. I will be making an effort for it NOT to be on the forefront of my mind...at least until Monday.
2008
Me 08:10, 17 April 2008 (EDT)
In the end, this move is costing us ~$300. Had to tell Wifey to beg her parents for some money. Between gas for the myriad transports back and forth, going out to eat because the kitchen is a shambles, buying parts for the washer / dryer to hook up to the apartment, we're in danger of bouncing our first rent check already.
As it stands, we've already borrowed $550 against our cash advance from the bank ($500+$50 finance charge), so we'll be short that next week Friday. Sure, the tax returns will cover us (hopefully) in time for the next rent check, but in the meantime, we're going to have to borrow from MIL and FIL.
Let's also add to this all that over the last five days, I only put my Testim on twice, and I maybe remembered my thyroid meds once or twice as well. No wonder I felt feverish and sluggish last night. I'm surprised I didn't put my fist through a wall with the drop in one of those levels.
Anyway, I'm back at ThePit this morning. I'm here, but not. It's just a weird feeling today. I'm trying to feel motivated and seeing if I feel useful, but now that I'm not physically active carting boxes around, I'm thinking about Zejan, and his termination last week.
2007
Me 07:35, 17 April 2007 (EDT)
Well, at least I made it into work. I had been arguing with myself all morning long as to whether or not I could survive today. I feel like crap. In fact, the closest approximation as to how I feel is hung over. Headache. Eyes feel like they were rubbed with sand. I feel like I fell down a flight of stairs.
In other news, I got the results back from my cortisol blood test. Wifey said their office said that my cortisol levels were "sub-optimal". Can't they just say, "slightly below normal"? Whatever. Anyway, next week Tuesday I have to go back in there at 8am for them to give me some sort of test that requires the doctor to be present because it's an IV push.
As long as it's not red, I might be able to make it through.
