August 10

From my brain

Contents 1 2003 1.1 Me 22:35, 10, August 2003 (EDT)

2003

Me 22:35, 10, August 2003 (EDT)

Life is like a Microsoft program...constant version updates...

Announcing the release of version Life 7.0! This release features the following:

• 7.0 - August 10, 2003 - Fatal system error. Bakery subsystem rendered permanent hobby at best. Mirror system will not support bakery subsystem, rendering it unstable at best, unattainable at worst.
  • Recurrent Depression Algorithyms: responding to hobbying of bakery subsystem
  • Vitural Career Catch-22: Helps to keep you stuck in a career you're good at, even if you hate doing it.
  • Corporate Hatred Capacitor: Works in tandem with VCC22 (above) to enhance RDA (above)
  • Moral-Empathic Sensor: Limits RDA from running into ADI (Alcholic Dependancy Issues). Causes memory refresh of mirror system's previous mirror.

Complete Release Notes in reverse order:

• 6.9 - August 2003 - Bakery delivery system recoded. Delivery system reordered to work within confines of outside program.
• 6.8 - May 2003 - System issues are involved with outside program limiting distribution of bakery. Bakery systems nearly closed down.
• 6.7 - January 2003 - Begin new side system of baking bread. Dough for dough. System seems to work well.
• 6.0 - April 2001 - Complete system overhaul: New program is put into production environment.
  • Upgrades to internal systems regarding new software will NOT produce future updates. Patches will happen automatically on weekly/daily/hourly basis as necessary.
• 5.9 - February 12, 2001 - Severe system issues detected: Diagnosis of Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Software requirements with regards to completion of new program have to be balanced with new troubleshooting/resolutions of system issues.
• 5.2 - August 2000 - Software + hardware produces independant program which is building itself. System updates expected to be implimented with regards to new program.
• 5.0 - February 2000 - Marriage to wife. Nice to be made an honest programm...man.
• 4.9 - December 1998 - Reality software activated. Propose marriage to GF.
• 4.5 - Conglomeration of SEVERAL issues. Nearly quit. Get more money. GF seems to be sticking around for awhile still.
• 4.0 - February 1998 - Promotion...PROGRAMMER???? WTF!!!1
• 3.5 - Several system revisions. Complete pro/con impact unknown and uninteresting. Nookie, nookie, nookie, NOOKIE!
• 3.0 - November 1995 - Naughty new GF. Potential to keep this one. Mmmm...boobies.
• 2.1 - Minor system revisions including promotions.
• 2.0 - October 1994 - Wow, a real job. Gotta wear a tie. And dress clothes. But, it's just "the real job" while writing.
• 1.51 - September 1994 - Finish book quickly! You only have $50 bucks. Buy supplies to make a pot of spaghetti sauce and freeze. One plate of pasta a day, and treat self for month to one PB&J sandwich a day.
• 1.5 - June 1994 - Beatnick/hippiedome RULES! Grow out hair, attempt to grow facial hair. Write book full-time.
• 1.21 - May 1994 - Bugs enter program: Permanent error. Dishwashing sinks in restaurants not built for 6'3" guy.
• 1.2 - March 1994 - Freedom Expansion 1: Quit Devry. Programming must be a life of hell! Finish the book, you get farther in the world.
• 1.0 - July 1993 - FREEDOM! Freedom to succeed, to fail, and to just fuck it all up.
• 0.9 - BETA release - pre-July-1993: No life. Software dependancy issues. High school bought it big time.