January 11
From my brain
Contents |
2006
Me 10:12, 11 January 2007 (EST)
- "Hey boss, yeah, it's Me. I've been up half the night coughing and haven't gotten any sleep. I'm calling in sick today. Call me if anything big blows up."
I feel like I've been thrown down the stairs. The cough that was leftover from The Crud for the first time last night decided to come in the middle of my sleep. I had no control over the cough (during the day I've been able to brace myself for it), so I basically went a couple rounds last night with Mike Tyson (my ear is fine though).
Me 17:13, 11 January 2007 (EST)
So, Wifey and I had The Talk. I kind of broadsided her with it, because she was probably expecting me to say that work sucked, and that I was just mad at Dad/J&J or whatever since the wedding, or that I have a really bad case of 'roids.
Instead, I told her how I'd been holding onto the resentment I felt from waaaay back when I was doing the bread business and I didn't feel she was being supportive. I told her how that once she said she was going to do the Tastefully Simple stuff that it seemed like I was expected to pitch in / help support whatever was going on. I told her how the stuff she said from this weekend was what set me off into thinking about all of this. I also told her that Lawgirl is a good head-shrinker and helped me bring all this stuff out.
We talked about all of the above (including Dad and my self-identity issues since all that), and we're...working on it. We both accept that I really don't have a clue as to what I want to do right now. We both know I've been far too negative lately, and I said I'm going to work on that. We both realized there's a lot of work ahead.
Now, just to sit on all this for awhile and figure out what it is I want to do...
1995
Me 21:39, 9 January 2007 (EST): Quick note, funny that the first notebook I pull out to start blogging them happens to be from January. :)
Beginning a third notebook. Felt the need for a change. Change of pure change of writing. Have run into a snag with Darias/Symbols. After reading Poe and reviewing Paid in Full, I've realized I've lost something. I've lost the heart of my style. Symbols is far too bright and cheerful in comparison to past works. I need to find a way to drken the mood and thereby add to the realism of the story. Since it is not real to me -- my writing that is -- it's not a real story to anyone else. Start with the nature of the story. The settting first. Kamal needs to be moved. Somewhere just as remote, but nearly as remote but more believeable. It is too far set off by the wayside for anyone to have found it. Kamal's location is only the start. The city in and of itself is too uplifting. With As it stands to be sseen before the Curse, life in the city was wonderful. Life should have been that way. In following my usual formula, the city should be dark and dreary. And odd sense that something evil lurks int he background. Something that neither be heard nor touched but you just know something is happening".
