March 6
From my brain
Contents |
2009
Me 11:04, 6 March 2009 (EST)
Hi boys and girls! This week brings you the rare glimpse into Me that will make you wonder, "Why on earth do I read his blog?" Yes boys and girls, it's a TMI day, but let's go through our sponsors: the letters C, P, and U.
C
Doesn't that look like fun boys and girls? The hell it does! OK, so I find out as a result of "the procedure" that both stones passed at some point. The first was two Mondays ago, but the the second I believe was...passed...during *ahem* some extra curricular internet activities. Wifey was both too sleepy and too mad to entertain me as I've done jack around the house recently, so I took matters into...never mind. A slight little burning sensation at the...end...was disregarded at the moment, but as the nurse said, "Both stones are out," it came to instant memory.
Anyway, in the times since then, I've had one hell of a time. You have a tube shoved up one area of the body that absolutely without a doubt has been intended as exit only from the dawn of man, and things are bound to malfunction. Where are they malfunctioning and how?
P
The letter P is for penis (do you need an image link?) and Pyridium. The first is obvious, but the second is a little red pill that has two properties. The first is that it relaxes the bladder to keep it from freaking out following a cytoscopy. A bladder tends to think it has to work extra after one of those, and the pyridium tells it to calm the hell down.
The other property of the pill is that it makes something a bright, pumpkin yellow. And what is that thing that gets colored?
U
The letter U is for urine and also urologist. The worst part of this process was not the passing of any of the three stones I've had. The first passed quietly and unbeknownst to anyone. The second showed up in the bathroom buddy as a morning surprise. The third came about during a happy moment (see above). They were all fine.
On the other hand, having to urinate following a cycoscopy made me want to just plain chop off my penis. You see, the letter "U" also happens to start "Uuuuuuaaaaaagggggghhhh!!!" which is the sound I finally made at 10:15 this morning after having not urinated since yesterday morning. Ever time last night that I attempted to do so resulted in pain. Bad pain. Like the pain that people said I should have had in order to pass say...oh...a kidney stone.
Now had I actually read the post-operation information better, I would have read that it said to call the doctor if you haven't urinated 6-8 hours after surgery, or if it constantly feels like you have to urinate, or if it only comes out in small quantities.
W
Not one of the letters of the day, but now that I've finished the above (as well as a large glass of tea and two ham sandwiches), I'm going to go play WoW.
2008
Me 08:41, 6 March 2008 (EST)
I feel like hell today. Shoulder are sore from paint-the-fence (OK it was bathroom), my hands are cramping from holding the brush at awkward angles (painted under sink and around toilet), and I'm just physically and mentally exhausted by this whole process.
I just want this hell to be over.
2007
Me 07:21, 6 March 2007 (EST)
There was this scene on Golden Girls once where Sophia had gone missing and Blanche was freaking out. She calls up Sophia's brother Angelo and pleads for his help. Angelo arrives dressed to the hilt, cologne, flowers, and candy. When questioned, Angelo responds (in a thick Italian accent):
- Angelo: "Blanche, you call me, you say, 'Comea quick. Sophia isa no here. I need you!'"
- Blanche: "You misunderstood, I mean that Sophia is missing and I need your help to find her!"
- Angelo: "You mean, I shavea my shoulders for nothing then?"
I'm in an inverse situation. This morning, I read the directions for the Testosterone gel I'm supposed to apply (whenever they tell me the dosage) and it says to "Place entire content of tube in the palm of the hand and immediately rub into shoulders and upper arm." And later it says, "Do not apply gel on to abdomen."
"You mean, I shavea my stomach and chest for nothing?"
Me 12:51, 6 March 2007 (EST)
OMG OMG OMG! I have been visited by the OTC! Okay, so only my gmail account has, but still! He read The Guild Crotch!
- Hey {Me},
- Sweet. You're right, I don't totally get all the references, but I still think it's pretty excellent. I just changed the site so people can submit links to things they do that are related to certain songs. If you go to the town crotch page you'll find a button for submitting user content (I then approve from an admin area). If you have a sec, want to try out the new system and see if it works? You'll have to submit this as a generic link, I don't think we have a text-specific thing...
- - j
Woo hoo!
Me 15:21, 6 March 2007 (EST)
- Hey Darias - just check it out and see how it looks to you...
And thus it is posted! (click on the links tab)
- Woot! And there is my 14.059 seconds of fame (I don't think I'll quite make the 15 minute mark).
- Also, I'm going to be keeping an eye out to make sure the May 19th show in Dayton stays on target. Heather made the Tuscon-->San Diego trip, and that was six hours. I don't think I'd be THAT committed to seeing you, but I think I can make a 2 hour trip from Columbus. :)
- As a further homage, I've started playing around with creating / tweaking an add-on for Warcraft (LUA script is killing me having lived in VB for so long), and my testing character: Codemonkey. I practically man-squealed when I found the name wasn't taken on our server.
- Anyway, thanks for approving the link. ...and take some time from all this dang touring. We want some new stuff sometime. I can't keep listening to the same 110 tracks over and over (okay, I can, but for how long?).
- Yours,
- Anthony
